you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, November 12, 2009

6:58 PM

they screwed up, and they're sending a new one over now.
looks like i was right to buy their stuff.

&the beauty.

12:40 AM

i cried.
but all i can do now is leave.
cause i got no say.

cause your image is so deeply etched in my mind, everybody else looks the same.

&the beauty.

3:20 AM

stayed home and dota-ed till 6pm
then headed out for dinner @ fairmont's.
spread was so-so.
but luckily they had durian paste!
spread that on a prata kosong and u get a damn nice durian prata
sinnnnnnnnnnnful~! then had some chocolate n stuff
o yea then realized auntie rachel was into photography too lol.
looks like im gonna have another dslr kaki soon~!

&the beauty.

9:46 AM

Ive decided to let go of all my cues cept the falcon.
and fund up for my camera setup.
shouldnt be playing pool for quite a bit.
i think its time i stop drawing lines for myself before i even venture out.

&the beauty.

5:10 PM

im in a very reflective mood today.
ive finally thought about quitting the sport for a while.
people've been asking me why quit?
i think the answer is the stagnant level of performance ive been able to pull outta myself
and the losing of interest in it, it's becoming quite a consistent cycle of what i do in a pool hall.
meet new people/old khakis and play.
punch the table.
go home thinking why i lost.
as if my full-time job isnt a 'everyday cycle'(i'd use this term b4 i can think of that bloody specific word), i want to get out of this loop.

So, people ask,'u sure not? so what are u going to do if u dont play pool?'
seriously? i've got no idea.

i got interest in photography, but will only be able to save to get a basic body kit+kit lens and thats probably it, i dont see myself heading far in that hobby either, and furthermore in the recent days, almost EVERYONE is getting a dslr.

i want to learn to drive, sing, dance. that is only if my back condition can take it..

ive got too many restrictions, limitations, etc.
Maybe its time you should stop drawing lines for yourself and just live it, gerald.
This is probably a good time to think about that haunting question.
'So what're you gonna do?'

&the beauty.

2:39 AM

last night took some time, transferred abit of data.
then couldnt sleep cos i was too worried abt today's match.
(aiya im going to give alot of excuses from here on...cause there's sooooooo many ways/reasons to lose and only one way to win, aka ranting time)
woke up kinda early today, lazed around abit.
then met ridwan...basket he late..i thot i damn dilly dally liao.. but he worse than me lol.
then i made him take cab from dover to spgg =D
(aso dunno 4 wat..but maybe scared late and bump into same situation as 2007's 8 ball compy)
then i went there. potted a few balls. felt good.
never felt so good in the whole week. potting by 'feel'?
then we started.
justin clear and miss,
i clear and miss,
then then he missed the 9, i took it.
1-0.
same thing went on for next rack.
2-0.
then same thing happened for him, cept i missed the 8 and he sealed the rack.
2-1
went to toilet, played fully by agarration since my....
'aim, stare at the potting point, then go shoot' method didnt work. =/
cleared from 1-7, but missed 8 and 9.
was a rash decision, and i jumped a tough shot. which i think i shld have kicked.
ball in hand.
2-2
then i chased up 3-2.
then he chased back 3-3.
then it went on
3-4.
4-4.
for those racks, both of us kept missing the 8 or 9.
and the other party would seal the rack.
then he managed to win his rack.
5-4.
i had a good shot on the 8.
next was the 9. it was a simple cut shot.
i missed.
6-4.
then i got tensed up even more with him leading on the hill.
but somehow i think he missed the 7 or 8.
then i got that rack. 6-5.
then for the last rack, i went for a half table length cut down the rail for the 8.
but i missed and left it at the jaw.
there it was 7-5.
and yea, nope justin i dont think u fluked this one.

this wasnt why ive been practising more recently.
this wasnt how im supposed to play either.
whenever i got the shots and stared at the ball, doubts and hesitation came to my mind,
i tried to ignore them but failed.
somehow even tho the point was in my face, and yet i couldnt get it.
it was not like i couldnt pot today, but it was all mental block. my mental strength proved to be too weak to handle the pressure.
im truly disappointed in my own performance in today's match.and i was hoping i could win the first match so i could face vincent tan, the guy that i believe i owe an apology to since 2007.
and someone who i wanna know if i can really win him if i put my mind to it, not like the mistakes i did back then.
but i just..didnt work for my chance to do that, or maybe i just wasnt good enough.
i've failed both myself and some friends that were hoping to help me get back to the table
(by sparring, sharing tips and spotting mistakes, etc)
to them, im thankful and sorry.
to myself, i've got nothing for you.

it's been a really sad day.

&the beauty.

1:53 AM

wa crazy week larrrrrrrrrrrr
lol.
the practice sessions at spgg this week has paid off,
as in i at least can pot some balls now..not today's performance lol
cos today, the actual day, honestly speaking, i was actually damn lucky lar...

first race
vs laurens.
managed to calm my nerves down and play,
but still kan cheong-ed.so got some shots piew~
but quite happy got a few shots( like 2 or 3) i measure here n there
then managed to kick and bank..

second race
vs ryan
wa that wan is www.omgwtfisibeityco.com lar
he was clearing i think, then i won 1 rack after he foul-ed by touching a ball.
so score was 1-4, 5 racks and he's on the hill liao.
then i keep telling myself
'okayokay, anyway he 4 liao, so nothing to lose already okay, dont kan cheong liao'
then that break i golden break.
2-4.
then after that i tyco miss, then he foul like 2-3 times.
then 3-4.
then after that i tyco miss again, but then i ended with the 6, so he started clearing.
then i thot lose 3-5 already, but on the 8, he jawed, then managed to take that rack.
4-4.
then the last rack he clear clear clear. then either i tyco snooked him and he missed a kick or he fouled by himself i forgot already. but i took it from the 7. then free ball, dunno why make things difficult for myself,then very bad shape for the 9, but heng got pot.
then 5-4.

lol the tyco snooks i did on him was damn gay, i myself aso cannot tahan.
only can say paiseh to him, cause nothing else i say will help anyway.

then last race
vs henry tan or something
wa he damn monster potter lar.but got 1 or 2 angle he dunno how to cut.
but the rest of the balls he pot like free wan, everyone was watching him clear.
his style of playing = what ppl say as 'tia sia'(direct translation = hear sound)
but dunno why he play like he wan to go home do work or meet gf liao, i think he sian liao or smt.
dunno.anyway.score was 5-1, lol he was also the first guy that ask me to loan for jump and break during competition, i jitao stun..not because he dun have but because why he dun take from his teammate lol...

then cos of all these damn lucky factorsss, managed to survive and get to the next round which is i think on 2nd may.

oh yea, wa lau after gg, when to fusion supposed to pak 1 race to 7 with garry,
end up play like 3 races to 7 larrrr.he on fire
jitao lose to him 7-3, 7-3.
then last race sibei heng, actually is race to 5 then piew 4-3, then managed to come back 5-4, then i said if i get to 5 first then RT7. then dunno why suddenly tyco until 7-5.lol

anyway i think next week die liao.need to find time to practice.....

&the beauty.